


In Memory of Thomas Cake

by 1000lux



Category: The Left Hand of God Series - Paul Hoffman
Genre: Alternate Ending, Democracy, Gen, Happy Ending, Helots, Post-Canon, Psychological Trauma, The Girls - Freeform, Vague Henri lives, a lot of self-indulgent ideas of what the future could bring, cale meets his son, comfort writing, epilogue of some sort, laconics, mentions of cake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:56:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14929373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000lux/pseuds/1000lux
Summary: Maybe the python did enjoy eating the pig to the same degree as the pig suffered through it. Who could really tell how a python was feeling?





	In Memory of Thomas Cake

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own rights to the book or it's characters.
> 
> After having it lying around for five years I finally read the third part, and while I generally enjoyed the fact that realistically a lot of pointless bad stuff happened in the story, the ending really depressed me. So I've written this.

"Why are you trying to shut my eyes?" came the question and it sure took Cale some time to make out the source of it, which should have been all too obvious, as it came from the man lying on the table.

"Some sort of allergic shock reaction, maybe?" the doctor would offer later... unsure himself, but no one was really looking for an explanation, were they far too relieved by Vague Henri's impromptu return from the grave, to really care how it had come to happen. But that seemed to be in the fashion of the time, Kleist would have agreed on that. And for what Cale cared, it could have been the hanged Redeemer himself who'd chosen to intervene here and bring him back, for reason's as obscure as why the Holy Spirit was affronted by buggery. He was just beyond measure relieved to have his best friend among the living. And now he started to understand what the doctor had been saying about shock. A terrible shock didn't always have to be terrible for it to be a terrible shock.

That was probably the reason why he could barely remember later how he'd killed Bosco, when he'd absentmindedly stepped up to him, snapping his neck, all the while still replaying in his mind, what a terrible, tragic waste it would have been if Vague Henri had died in here. People would later describe with consternation how unbothered Thomas Cale had killed the terrible leader of the Redeemers with an offhandedness with which a peasant would kill a sick calf. Which seemed in their eyes somehow an affront to such a maybe insane and in the truest sense evil but still powerful man. But either way, Bosco did get the death of a calf born too soon or too late, lying forgotten on the ground with his neck snapped, by maybe not a peasant, but a great supporter of peasants.

Vague Henri would never find out what exactly had caused his almost death over such a tiny wound, but he'd stay wary of pencils for the rest of his days, using a personal scribe for a such things, even before his eyesight got really bad when he turned eighty.

Needless to say attempts on Cale's life by the Laconics and efforts for impeachment by the Swiss were at an all-time high, after the surprising turn of events at the Sanctuary that day.

Which brought Cale to make an interesting decision. Well, maybe it weren't the efforts on his life that did it. Who could really tell that? But he decided to station his troops at the now abandoned Sanctuary and make it livable again. The damage was after all not that bad. It was still a very fortified place to live and he had a large amount of peasant warriors who would be well able to make do with the fertile soil inside these walls that had supplied the Redeemers for so long. Truth be told, for one thing, Cale had no illusions that he wouldn't be the only one treated unfairly were he to return to Spanish Leeds, for another, he took a sick satisfaction in turning the Sanctuary into a place where people might actually want to live.

The Laconics could not really do anything about it, were they after all still officially on the same side. That indeed Windsor did get his second chance was maybe a blessing in disguise. The unfortunate accident involved Windsor by mistake shooting Fanshawe in an attempt on Cale's life. It was good enough reason to put the remaining Laconic soldiers under arrest and confine them outside the walls of the Sanctuary. I say blessing in disguise, as the blessing in this case was actually in disguise. For it had been Vague Henri doing the shooting, was he a trained sniper after all. Windsor had of course already been dead by then, fallen victim not to his disease but to the just returned from the dead boy. The Laconics were none the wiser for it, as they of course had known of the attempts on Cale's life, and while deeply embarrassing, the mishap made a lot of sense. Thomas Cale and Fanshawe had after all been standing right beside each other at the time. And from the state of the corpse it had indeed looked like cramps in the final stage of his sickness had made him err his shot and he'd died only moments later.

Thomas Cale could have stayed at his newly created kingdom (the flaw of the the Little Brother remedied by the same two men who'd made use of it in the first place), and from there rebuild his army (there would have certainly been enough peasants and other oppressed who would have flocked to this save haven in time) and rained havoc, destruction and a taste of their own medicine, on all who'd deemed themselves impervious to bad luck and misfortune, by status and power. He could have and he'd thought about it a lot of times, but he didn't. Had Vague Henri not lived, he might have, or on the other hand he might have vanished in the middle of the night never to be seen again, but Vague Henri hadn't died, just as he hadn't with a arrow to his face, or in Kitty the Hare's basement (or even as a child at the Sanctuary with a terrible case of measles that had taken seven out of ten boys who'd caught it), so maybe it wasn't that surprising that he hadn't died here either. But either way, Thomas had chosen not to put the fear of God (or at least of Thomas Cale) into the nobles of Spanish Leeds, even though Vague Henri himself would have once upon a time been all in favor of that.

Despite him deciding not to teach them that misfortune could befall anyone, they would learn that nevertheless a few years later, when the Helots Cale had spared and supported, defeated the Laconics and turned the country into a democracy. The disease of democracy, as it was called by those who had nothing to benefit from it, continued to spread hereafter throughout the adjoining countries, eventually coming to the Swiss as well. King Zog was said to have jumped from the tower of his palace at the news of his deposition, but he was actually far more sensible than people had given him credit and had fled to the Hanse weeks earlier, where he was hiding with a rich merchant family who'd thought it might come in handy one day to have him on their side.  
In the years to come, of course, those brave new governments would have to deal with such things as healthcare systems, public schools and unemployment assistance, but that is a story for another time.

At the given time, Vague Henri was a little rattled himself by how quick it all could be over and Cale had lost any interest at all in battle and death. And Henri, being the good friend he was, could very well tell that Thomas who'd been on his last leg the whole campaign, was basically just crawling at this point. He considered sending him back to the asylum, in hopes that the strange lady could help him, given some more time, but decided against it. After all, except giving him that terrifying medicine and an unreasonable fear of something Cale called 'souldeath', she hadn't done much for him. The fact that most of that psychological advice had come from a doll, didn't put Henri any more at ease. So, given that they were all only a few more bumps away from running around raving with their pants on their heads, Vague Henri decided to take the doctor's advice and maybe just take it easy for the rest of their lives. That worked well with Henri's own plans of maybe not dying anytime soon. As it turned out, it also worked well with Thomas' plans of maybe trying out that girls and cake thing on a long level. Given that what he remembered most of the battle for the Sanctuary was not the killing of Bosco but the resurrection of Vague Henri (or Vaguely Dead Henri as he'd later sometimes be called in jest by Kleist and IdrisPukke), he thought, maybe the python did enjoy eating the pig to the same degree as the pig suffered through it. Who could really tell how a python was feeling? So maybe, Thomas thought, the good things did have a chance after all.

As to the fate of the saved girls, not much is recorded. They did leave with Cale and Vague Henri at first. Later on, one of them would become a famous courtesan, one would become a lawyer, teaching at one of the best universities of the Laconics (who were now referring to themselves as Hellenics), one would thirty years later become the first female president of Switzerland, and one would coincidentally become the woman for whom Riba's husband would divorce her.

Arbell Materazzi, well, she married again and with that man she actually grew old and it is said that they had a great deal of affection for each other, despite servants reporting of big rows. But for now we want to focus on her child. Growing up no one could have claimed not to know who the father of said child was. The boy was the spitting image of his father and had also inherited his dour and antisocial nature. Oddly enough he also inhabited his mother's charm, which made for quite the mixture, as despite being considered mostly insufferable by his contemporaries, he had quite the way with the ladies.

When Cale turned forty, he would one morning find his son on his doorstep, by then a grown man himself and they would actually get to know each other. And maybe late but still, Thomas would both learn the hardships of parenthood as well as how hard it had been all these years for people to deal with him, now being faced with a younger copy of himself who combined both his and Arbell's worst traits.

As Vague Henric would comment, "It's uncanny. He's like you, but in attractive. There's even a certain charm about his stinking-ass attitude."

Cale and his son, all clash of too similar characters aside, developed a considerable affection for each other. And even though IdrisPukke wasn't sure he could quite believe these reports any more than those of Cale riding through the Mongolic steppe with a burning sword, it was later said that he actually let his grandchildren ride on his back through the garden of their house.

IdrisPukke himself, despite all sardonic attitude to the world, love and human affection in general, was the one who would fall for Arbell Materazzi of all people, in the years to come. That was of course a great deal later than the current events, even though also a good ten years before Cale met his son again. No one could quite say later what exactly had attracted those two people to each other. Whatever it was it stuck and made even the haughtiest of Materazzi princesses lose her cool. Another side effect of the relationship was the fact that the offspring from said relationship made for that fact that IdrisPukke and Thomas now had children who were half-brothers.

It is actually not just a rumor that IdrisPukke wrote several letters of apology to Cale, once the relationship had started, from a location unknown at the time and kept secret on pain of death. The rumor that on the day of the wedding Cale came soaring down from the sky to rip out IdrisPukke's throat with his teeth, was surprisingly persistent, given that Arbell and her newly wed husband were seen often enough in society afterwards. Actually, though, Cale had sent a generous gift to the wedding and laughed himself half-blind at the news of the engagement. He had been long over Arbell at that time, not that anyone much less he himself, had expected that to ever happen. But as it turns out, time might not heal severe psychological trauma, but it does in fact heal love turned sour.

On a funny note, Cale found out years later that Sister Wray had actually been a patient herself, but given her letter of admission having gone missing just as his own, no one had actually found out until years later, as the lady had been quite convincing (which probably had something to do with her having had that profession until a severe psychotic break). Cale still thought that she'd given pretty sound advice all things considered, doll or no doll. 

As it did turn out (not that anyone had really expected that), Kleist had not run off with their money, but met with them halfway, as they finally left the walls of the Sanctuary a good five months later. And no one would have expected them to stay there for so long of their own free will. It looked quite nice in there by the time they left and Thomas' little army was well able to defend themselves by then on their own (or well, as good as it ever was going to get). It felt to Cale like one of his weird dreams to walk these halls without horrors waiting at every corner. Still he was beyond relieved to finally get out of there and he was reasonably sure he would never return this time. 

It took the Swiss intelligence another five months to realise they weren't inside any longer.

As for the girls and cake in Thomas' and Vague Henri's future. Well, the cake certainly worked out, as did the girls, in the beginning. But as Kleist (or if we're being honest actually Daisy) already suspected, they just enjoyed each other's company a lot more. And even if it would take them approximately six more years after the final battle against the Redeemers, to act on this, Kleist (Daisy) had seen it coming a long way. His keen or not so keen perception aside, Kleist recovered remarkably over the next years, assisted probably by the fact that for him they'd found an actual real psychotherapist. At first a nice guy called Siegfried Freund, who tried to convince Kleist that his hang-ups were connected to the fact that he'd wanted to kill his father and have sex with his mother when he was a child, and would not budge even though Kleist tried to explain that he'd never known his parents and the fact that he'd wanted to kill the Redeemers had nothing to do with wanting to fuck the few nuns that were at the Sanctuary. But later he'd started treatment with a colleague of said man, a guy called Alfie Adler, who was actually able to help him. And Daisy, always a practical and resourceful woman, had considered fleeing from certain death while highly pregnant her darkest hour and felt like after that, things had been going mostly up. While she and her husband were both significantly changed by the events during their separation, she considerate that some things just would never be the same again, just as the chicken whom she'd taught to walk backwards. And as with the chicken, she made the best of it, starting with making sure her husband went to therapy regularly. So, while maybe not the same he once was, Kleist was well able to enjoy his life and his family at some point. And even though the tremors in his hands never quite stopped again, they did not bother him all that much. 

They did after all not settle down in Caracas, but moved eventually to a small island called Hawaii, which had great beaches and beautiful vegetation, if maybe rather violent elements which mostly manifested themselves in seasonal tropical storms.  
There was also quite enough cake there, even though Vague Henri once nearly choked on a dessert called Mochi which had been brought by the large population of people moved there from Edo, and had the same adhesive power that had held together the walls of the Sanctuary, probably because it consisted of the same main ingredient. Aside from sweets and sea storms the island also had seals, which Cale would not have admitted to have a certain fondness for (just as a certain someone he could not quite yet admit his fondness for). Cale was much more quick to admit to his fondness for the shaved ice sold here. Not that it helped him much in the long run.

As Vague Henri would later recite the words he'd once said to Thomas after their standoff with the two Laconics in the woods. "You said it yourself, I'm gorgeous."

The question of souldeath was still one Cale would wonder about, the first years afterwards. But at the bottom line the question did not matter, for he was alive. And whether his feelings, which he undoubtly had, be they good or bad, came from a soul, a heart or wherever, it did really not matter. He learned that the sparse moments of happiness didn't have to be fleeting. And while, he wasn't going to lie, the first year in freedom (after they'd left the Sanctuary) was mostly still spend with sleeping and vomiting, while staying at Lübeck they found a lady who provided him with a substitute for the tea given by Sister Wray, which worked a little better. It also helped once there weren't actually any situations any longer for which he'd needed the more potent of Sister Wray's potions. Even though, after the last time, Vague Henri had throw away all his powders.  
Of course at first they were still very much on guard (and honestly it never quite left them), but along the way their traces had petered out so far that at one point even IdrisPukke didn't know any longer where they were. In the beginning they did stay in places that had never been really involved in the war, farther North behind the cities of the Hanse, were it was even colder and few people lived in general. It also helped that Cale became taller and taller in the stories told about him and that IdrisPukke still kept steadily supplying stories and songs about the obscurest sightings of them throughout the known world. And certainly it had helped that no one had started looking for them until five months after they'd actually started their journey, by which time they hadn't even been anywhere near the Hanse federation any longer. The friendship with Reba was something, that despite them staying with her for quite some time, could never be rekindled again. Thomas for one thing felt still a certain resentment for her, despite realising that IdrisPukke was probably right and he should lower his expectations on people. What really took him by surprise though was the deep-rooted anger in Vague Henri, who was still her favorite, but seemed incapable of forgiving her, much more so than Kleist who'd also been given the short end of the stick, thanks to her.  
Whether Reba needed or deserved forgiveness was of little matter to Cale though, was he at this time still very much wondering whether there would ever be a time when he would feel like a normal person again and not something that had fallen off death's cart on the bumpy road to hell.  
Had you asked him whether a wound would break open again if you jostled it too much during the healing process he would have wholeheartedly agreed, if said healing process had already taken a year though, he would have probably suggested to just shoot the guy and get him out of his misery (unless of course said guy had been Vague Henri, than he'd have probably shot the guy asking dumb questions).  
So anyway, Cale's path to healing was a long and laborious way and he did his best to be even more obnoxious as usual (even though not exactly with intent). But what he didn't know was that his friends were mostly worried by his state. Not so much Kleist, for he was busy with falling apart himself, but Vague Henri, who also wasn't in the best of positions having to make most of the plans and decisions himself and only assisted in his care for his friends by Daisy (without who he was free to admit he would have probably lost his mind right along his friends), the girls who were themselves in different states of traumatized and for now did not bring much joy to Henri's life, and of course paid nurses and doctors. All the while Vague Henri wondered when his number was to come up and he'd go bonkers, as the doctor had not in so many words prophesied. For seemingly it was inevitable for any of them to come out of this somewhat mentally intact. It would be several years until Vague Henri would have something of a mental breakdown and then it wouldn't be half as bad as Cale's. But by then they would already be in safety and Cale would actually be in a state to in turn take care of Vague Henri, which, to the surprise of all, he did with more insightfullness and empathy (and most of all forbearance) than anyone had deemed him capable.

At some point in the future they would return to the Sanctuary (which against Thomas' expectations had managed to hold out on his own, and by now actually deserved it's name). They would even visit the Hellenic state for the first time, not only to visit the men they had maybe not known very well but still supported, but mostly because marriage between two men (or women for that matter) was allowed there.  
At Cale and Vague Henri's wedding an orchestra did play 'I've Got a Lurvely Bunch of Coconuts'. Thomas Cale was after all a hopeless romantic (not because of the song, but because the wedding had been his idea).  
It might, be interesting to note that IdrisPukke and Arbell Materazzi (he'd of course taken her name) were among the wedding guests. By that time, secrecy and hiding weren't necessary any longer, as obviously in the former Laconia no one was after Cale's head any longer and the new government of Switzerland had dropped all allegations and impeachments long ago. Thomas Cale was maybe still a feared man (justly so, he'd even gotten most of his muscle mass back, once he was able again to stand on his own two feet for a prolonged time), but he was no longer a wanted man. As it had been with Kitty the Hare, going into the ranks of myths and legends went faster than one would expect and despite all of Cale's believes to be so very special and dreadful, people truly had other problems than him by now. So peace maybe came with a certain level of obscurity, but it came nevertheless, and unlike power it was a lot easier to hold onto.

For now though, Cale was on a ship, leaving the harbor of Hamburg, feeling once more the merciless garotte of despair close up his throat, even as bile was rising in it, wondering what the future would hold in store for him. As it turned out, quite a lot.

Meanwhile Arbell Materazzi couldn't quite believe she was still alive and was fairly certain she had enough of men for life. IdrisPukke had returned to Spanish Leeds, trying to find out the whereabouts of his friends and not even thinking of Arbell Materazzi in any capacity. Deidre Plunkett meanwhile had a feeling that Cadbury might return her affections, something which was not only inaccurate but of which Cadbury was also completely unaware. Neither fact stopped them from working together for the rest of their lives and actually developing somewhat of a friendship. 

At the same time the elites in Laconia had no idea yet what was brewing in their country. Just as Bose Ikard and Zog were unaware and would remain so until it was too late, that the threat that was awaiting them in a couple of years' distance came not from the direction of Thomas Cale. 

Reba on the other hand could not yet guess that what lay in her future were three children and a generous divorce settlement.

The young Redeemer acolyte who'd been saved by Cale, was for now simply enjoying his good fortune of having regular meals and no beatings inside the Sanctuary turned city state. He would later be the one to reform the very different and widespread beliefs that still originated from the same book, in the way the Maid of Blackbird had once so daringly suggested. He would be founding father to the merger of most of the many sects, to one common religion that would become one of the most widespread in the world, mostly known for it's works of charity.

Annunziata, who was also on the ship, just as the other girls, had of course no idea yet of her future of going into politics, just as Kleist did not know that he and Daisy would actually have two more kids which would both be girls and that the only grey hairs he'd be getting in the future would be over the type of boys his daughters were seeing. Sitting beside Thomas' cot, holding a bucket (because no one wanted him to throw up on the floor of the cabin they'd have to stay in for the next days), was Vague Henri, who was pondering about barn owls, thinking that for what it concerned him the fucking nobles could do their thing as long as they left them alone. He also thought about growing up, about his decisions in life, the most momentous probably the one that had led to him being given the name he was carrying today. A decision as significant as it had been presumptuous, at the time. To befriend Thomas Cale.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for all mistakes. My knowledge concerning Hawaii comes down to movies and the Wikipedia article. Also, I'm well aware Sigmund Freud did a lot more than talk about the Oedipus complex.


End file.
